Controversy FAQ Interview Question 21

Do you think it's a fair statement that there is an undercurrent of group pressure or manipulation to participate in a certain way?

In the beginning, that's probably more true, to some extent. That's just part and parcel of being human. In general, we're masters at interrupting the "right way" to participate. In other words, we know that human beings naturally, in their makeup, want to get along. A lot of times, when people ask questions, they're looking for how the trainer or the small group leader or their fellow participants are going to respond so they can disguise what they're thinking and feeling by responding the way that they think people want them to. That's our human tendency to play it safe for our own safety and security. That's part of the inauthenticity of being human, and we're very big on not directing people with the right answer or giving them suggestions or that kind of thing. Rather than jump into the comfort of giving the right answers, they have to ultimately decide how they're going to be and then deal with the results of that.

People may come in under that pressure, and it builds for a day or two because they're trying to feel it out, and then they get mad because they can't figure out how the trainer wants them to be. The trainer's just asking them to be honest with what's really going on for them and to be clear about what they really want, regardless of what people think. If there's any pressure, it's in that direction. They keep looking for some other agenda, because they can't believe we'd be interested in what they're really committed to. They're there, and the automatic assumption they make is that we're only interested in what they're committed to so we can get what we want. It can be baffling to them that we're not about that, but ultimately that creates a huge space for them to participate, discover, and transform their way of relating to others in a way that makes a big impact, because it calls them into an authenticity that perhaps they didn't even believe was possible.

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